


Meet me on the Equinox

by energie_vie



Category: The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Mild Language, POV Nile Freeman, Post-Movie: The Old Guard (2020), Slow Build, Slow Burn, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27117007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/energie_vie/pseuds/energie_vie
Summary: Booker and Nile's shift in relationship viewed through a series of conversations in the middle of the night.
Relationships: Booker | Sebastien le Livre/Nile Freeman
Comments: 10
Kudos: 134





	Meet me on the Equinox

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Death Cab for Cutie's track with the same name.

**Berlin. September 23rd**

She doesn't normally wake up during the night. She wouldn't necessarily call herself a heavy sleeper but once she gets in bed she usually sleeps uninterruptedly. However, someone has left a window cracked open (probably Andy, the woman is constantly running hot) and Nile wakes up slightly shivering under her thin blanket. Autumn in Germany is not mild. She gets up to close it, mentally cursing Andy who doesn't feel cold, of course, since she and Quynh are all tangled up under their blanket and realises she's also thirsty, so she heads for the kitchen.

The cooker hood's light is on, she can see it from the hall and she wonders who's also awake at this ungodly hour. Might as well have some company since sleep is definitely bound to elude her after this short trip. She hesitates in the doorway when she sees it's Booker. She likes him well enough but he tends to keep to himself, so they haven't managed to have too many conversations just the two of them and definitely not in the middle of the night.

He hasn't heard her, deeply lost in thought as he appears, so she takes a few moments to study him. His shoulders are slightly hunched and his hands are wrapped around a mug in the middle of the table. He seems to be staring at nothing in particular, hair falling in his eyes and breathing almost imperceptible. Nile doesn't know what exactly, but something about this picture makes her sad. She also thinks she might startle him if she just enters the kitchen, so she backtracks a few steps and fakes a sneeze. When she does enter, he's turned towards the door.

'Bless you,' he says quietly.

'Thanks. Couldn't sleep, huh?' she asks, gesturing with her head towards his mug of untouched tea. Or whiskey, she can't be really sure.

'Bad dream,' he says simply and Nile is surprised he's readily sharing this.

'Wanna talk about it?' she asks and goes to the sink to pour herself a glass of water.

'Not really, no.' She hadn't really expected him to go into details, so she just nods and drinks her water.

'Have your ever felt like you can't find your place?' he asks all of a sudden and it's so out of the blue that she just stares at him. Booker stares back. It feels like a challenge but she doesn't back down.

'All the time,' she admits.

He just nods and returns to staring at his mug. It would be so easy and certainly not impolite to say good night now and go back to bed, but something about his demeanour pushes her to do the opposite. So she sits down across from him and mirrors his position by wrapping her hands around the glass. _Now_ he's startled.

'Don't get me wrong,' she continues, 'being with you guys is the best thing that could have happened to me. You're my family. All of you,' she feels the need to add for some reason. 'But I don't feel like a cog in a well oiled system, if that makes any sense,' she smiles and hopes it does.

'That's because we're not back to being a well oiled system yet,' he mutters a bit dejectedly and she hears the unspoken sentence. _We used to be and I fucked it up._

'Or maybe we're not supposed to be one,' she shrugs. 'Maybe we're supposed to be faulty, to always leave room for improvement.'

Nile thinks she may have accidentally said the perfect thing to snap him out of this state when he raises his eyes to meet hers and smiles hesitantly. He has a very beautiful smile, she decides.

'You really are a breath of fresh air,' he says, still looking intently at her and Nile leans back in her seat, determinedly holding his gaze.

'So are you,' she says after a while, then gets up and heads for the bedroom. 'Night, Booker!'

'Good night,' he whispers, long after she's gone.

\---

**Prague. October 30th**

Andy has left the window cracked open again. Ever since Berlin Nile has taken to checking all windows before going to bed, but this time she simply forgot. And she is so pissed off that she promises herself that she's never sharing the room with Andy and Quynh ever again, even if it means having to sleep in the bathtub.

She knows she's being slightly overdramatic but the mission they had finished earlier today had left them all exhausted and she had really been looking forward to a good night's sleep. She pushes the blanket aside and half-stomps towards the kitchen for a glass of water. Except nothing's coming out of the tap.

'No cold water in the kitchen. Pipe's busted,' she hears from behind and jolts so hard that she hits her head on the cupboard above the sink. 

'Fucking son of a bitch! Fuck!' she whisper-shouts and turns angrily around. 'What the fuck, Booker? Why didn't you say anything?'

'I just did,' he says seriously but it's not that dark in the kitchen what with the streetlights outside and she can tell he's trying really hard not to laugh. 

'When I entered the kitchen, not when I had my back turned! Are you trying to kill me?'

'I'm sorry. I just didn't want to startle you.'

'Yeah, well, how did _that_ work out?' she mutters grumpily. 'Why the hell are you even sitting in the dark? Is this some emo phase you're going through?'

'Emo.. wasn't that a trend where kids would wear dark clothes and a lot of black eyeliner?' he asks curiously and Nile just sighs impatiently.

'And a short-lived music genre. I'll show you some bands tomorrow,' she adds and she can see his eyes light up with excitement. 'So, why the darkness?'

'Oh, I burned the light bulb,' he says sheepishly.

'You burned the light bulb,' she repeats incredulously. 

'Yeah. It just exploded when I turned on the switch.'

'How old is this safehouse again?' Nile asks because at this point she is starting to feel grateful they have running hot water. 

'Too old,' Booker replies and then cocks his head to the left. 'Did Andy leave the window open again?' he chuckles and Nile's grumpiness returns. 

'Did you have a bad dream again?' she retorts a bit more sharply than intended but he doesn't seem to mind. 

'Not bad, _per se_. More like weird.'

'Hit me,' she says while rummaging through the fridge for something to drink. She settles for milk and leans back on the kitchen counter.

'Can't remember all the details but it involved heavy rain, a forest, talking trees and a dancing rabbit,' he grins. 

'Your mind is messed up,' she snickers and then falters when Booker's grin is quickly replaced by a sad expression.

'I know,' he says quietly and Nile feels like facepalming because he sometimes seems to slip in a whirlpool of dark thoughts and the last thing she wants to do is send him there intentionally. 

'I think everybody has a messed up mind,' she changes course quickly and when he scoffs, she ploughs ahead. 'No, really, think about it. Your parents mess you up one way or another, whether they want to or not, because they're either trying to emulate the way they were brought up or stray away from it entirely. Then there's peer pressure and kids and especially teenagers are the best at striking nerves and making one another feel like crap. Then there's society as a whole,' she gesticulates wildly and the milk in the carton is sloshing dangerously but she ignores it. 'It's all about comparatives: buy _more_ , work _harder_ , look _prettier_ , be _healthier_. We're constantly comparing ourselves either with others or with previous versions of ourselves and that's _definitely_ not healthy. Add to that the fragile chemical balance in our nervous systems and I can guarantee you that no one on this planet is right in the head!' she finishes her diatribe with a flourish and waits for Booker's input. He's looking at her like he's really seeing her for the first time, eyes sparkling in the dark and mouth quirked in one of those beautiful smiles.

'You are starting to become more and more fascinating,' he says, sounding almost in awe and Nile doesn't know how to react.

'Thank you?'

'No, thank _you_ ,' he says and gets up from the table. 'I'll remind you about showing me some emo bands tomorrow,' he grins, turning towards the door. 'Good night!'

'Night, Booker!' she says and resolutely ignores the pounding of her heart. 

\---

**Managua. December 16th**

It's a fucking mosquito this time. Nile has no idea how the little beast has managed to bypass the window net but by the time she's batting it away for the fourth time she's fully awake. She resigns herself to losing a few hours of sleep, so she gets up, grabs her phone off the nightstand and her gun from under the pillow and heads outside.

It's a beautiful night. The air is warm, the wind is blowing gently and there are a million crickets chirping in the grass outside the wood cabin they're spending the night in. On top of that, there's the full moon reflecting in the lake and for once Nile is not cranky for not being able to sleep. As much as she enjoys bustling cities and crowded places, she likes the quiet from time to time, so she takes a few steps away from the cabin and lies down in the grass, getting lost in the stars.

She doesn't know how much time has passed when she hears the cabin door. She knows it's him by the light footsteps and the way he quietly clears his throat. She grins at the stars and counts to ten.

'You're welcome to join me, Book.'

'How did you know it was me?'

'I guessed,' she lies. 'Come on, lie down,' she urges. 'The view is astounding.'

'I know,' he says and lies down to her right, so close that she can smell his cologne.

'You smell nice,' she states boldly. 'You always do.'

'Thank you,' he replies quietly and Nile is convinced this is the first time she can detect a note of shyness in his tone. 

'Another weird dream?' she asks and Booker chuckles. 

'No. Joe and Nicky think they're being quiet but they're not.'

'Don't tell me they're having sex with you in the room!'

'No, they're considerate enough not to. But it seems they're not sleepy either, so they keep whispering and giggling. They fell quiet when I got up, like two schoolboys being caught.' He's laughing in earnest now and Nile thinks he has a beautiful laugh.

'I like your laugh,' she says and wonders why she's being so bold tonight. Maybe it's because she can't see him. 'I'd love to hear it more often.'

'Not that I don't appreciate them, because I honestly do, but what's with the compliments?' he asks after a few seconds of silence. 

There's a slight change in his tone and there's something about it that Nile doesn't particularly like, though she can't really say what, so she retorts a bit snarkily.

'I'll refrain from complimenting you from now on.'

'I didn't mean it like that,' he mutters defensively. 'And I certainly didn't mean to upset you,' he adds. 'It's just.. you're you and I'm me.'

'What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?' Nile turns towards him and she's really getting pissed off now. Booker just drags his hand over his face and mumbles something in a language she doesn't understand. 

'Could you please pick a language we both speak?' she asks sharply. 'If it's not too much of a hassle.'

'I said "I'm a fucking idiot" in Occitan,' he mutters sullenly. 'I just meant that it's always flattering to receive compliments from you and when there's more than one in the same conversation I get a bit flustered and don't know how to react.'

Nile feels like laughing. Two minutes ago he was saying Joe and Nicky were acting like schoolboys and now he's doing the exact same thing, albeit unknowingly.

'You're right, you _are_ an idiot,' she says fondly and Booker just chuckles. 'Next time just say "thank you", ok? No matter how many you get,' she adds while getting up from the grass.

'Ok, I'll do that,' he promises.

'Night, Book!' she calls over her shoulder.

'Good night!'

\---

**Singapore. March 2nd**

Weirdly enough, it's not the sound that wakes her but the light, so when she opens her eyes and looks out the window she literally jumps out of bed. They're in a fucking penthouse overlooking the bay on the 47th floor and Nile is so happy she could burst. The sky is criss-crossed by lightning every other second and now that she's fully awake, she feels the thunder vibrate to her very core. So she grabs her phone in case she decides to take some pictures and heads to the balcony.

She's never been fully comfortable with heights but the balcony is wide enough and there are deck chairs lining the French windows, so she figures she'll be able to enjoy the show without freaking out that she's more than 150 meters above sea level. Somehow she's not surprised to find him there, lounging in a chair, a cigarette in his left hand and a content smile on his face.

'What are you doing up, dearest?' Booker asks surprised.

'Are you kidding me?' Nile is bubbling over with enthusiasm that she can barely contain. 'I love thunderstorms!'

'Really? Had I known I would've woken you up when it started.'

'Bear it in mind for all the next times,' she grins happily at him. 'How much have I missed?'

'About fifteen minutes, but it only started getting really interesting a few minutes ago.'

Booker's face gets illuminated for two seconds and then a loud crash follows. Nile actually squeals and claps excitedly and then sits down on a chair to his left. Another flash, another bang, another squeak from her and he chuckles softly.

'I see you weren't exaggerating even a tiny bit,' he teases and she just grins back.

'Do you have any idea how long this has been on my bucket list?' she asks and Booker looks confused. 

'What, a thunderstorm? Surely this can't be your first one.'

'Of course not. But it's my first one on the sea and from a higher floor. Granted,' she adds as an afterthought, 'I would've never pictured I'd be on the 47th overlooking the fucking Marina Bay when I made the list but I'm not complaining,' she winks.

'It's a hell of a view indeed,' he agrees. 'Want a cigarette?'

'Yeah, why not?' she shrugs, takes a cigarette from the pack and lights it with slightly out of practice hands. The storm is amazing and she feels so happy that she might combust.

'What else do you have on the list?' he asks after a few minutes.

'Oh, um... Let me think. Do you want only what's uncrossed or whatever comes to mind right now?'

'Only what's uncrossed. I want to see what I can make happen sooner rather than later,' he says and looks at her so intently that Nile feels like she's slowly burning on the inside.

'Well, the Northern Lights,' she starts and he nods approvingly. 'Have you seen them?'

'Twice,' he confirms and Nile pouts a little. 'We'll see them this year, I promise,' he adds and she can't unhear the _we_ he used.

'The Great Barrier Reef,' she continues and Booker perks up.

'That's been on _my_ bucket list since forever!' he cries delightedly. 

'No way!'

'Really! But I've never felt like doing it alone and I've never managed to convince the guys to go to Australia on holiday either. Too many deadly things,' he air quotes, rolling his eyes and Nile just snorts.

'Weaklings,' she mutters sarcastically and Booker laughs out loud. 'Maybe we can go this year?' she asks hesitantly.

'I'd like that very much,' he smiles and there it is again, that intense look that makes her insides melt. 'What else?' he asks and Nile needs a few seconds to remember what they were talking about.

'I've always wanted to pet a raccoon,' she says and Booker actually guffaws. 'What?' she asks defensively.

'Most people dream of swimming with dolphins or riding elephants,' he grins and she just rolls her eyes.

'Raccoons are the cutest and most misrepresented animals,' she says a bit heatedly and Booker just raises his hands apologetically.

They go back to watching the storm in pleasant silence but Nile's skin is tingling as if all the lightning strikes are gliding down on her arms and legs. She knows why but she's not ready to think about it yet, so she just lets herself get lost in the view. She's so absorbed that she jumps when Booker gets up from the chair.

'I'm off to bed, dearest,' he says gently. 'Good night and don't stay up too late. Full day tomorrow.'

'I won't,' she smiles. 'Night, Seb!'

\---

**Brisbane. May 10th**

For the first time in what feels like forever she wakes up in the middle of the night for no particular reason. One minute she's fast asleep, dreaming of sandy beaches and sky blue eyes and the next she's fully awake, staring at the ceiling. She tosses and turns for a good ten minutes, groaning frustratedly when she realises she needs a change of scenery if she wants to be able to go back to sleep, preferably _before_ the sun rises.

The apartment Booker has chosen is on the 8th floor overlooking the river, so Nile heads to the balcony. This one is not as wide as the one in Singapore but there is still room for a coffee table and two chairs, so she plops down in one of them to enjoy the cityscape at night and grabs a cigarette from the pack left on the table. She smokes very rarely and usually to keep him company but there's something in the air tonight that makes her feel just a bit uneasy.

'That's not a very healthy habit, dearest,' Booker teases from the shadows.

'What can I say, you're a bad influence,' she quips and turns towards the balcony door to stick her tongue out at him.

He just grins and shrugs and then sits in the other chair, lighting a cigarette of his own. 

'So why are you up?' he asks after the first drag. 'Are you _that_ excited about tomorrow that you couldn't sleep?' he teases again and Nile just rolls her eyes and shakes her head. It's become a patented move around him lately, since he wastes no opportunity to poke her. She likes it more than she'd care to admit.

'I could ask you the same thing,' she retorts.

'Honestly, yes. I've told you several times that it's at the top of my bucket list and I'm really glad I have you to share it with,' he says and he sounds so sincere that Nile feels all warm and fuzzy. 'However,' he continues, 'I'm wondering if falling asleep underwater is possible, so maybe we don't test it tomorrow and try to go back to sleep soon. What time is it anyway?'

Nile unlocks her phone and sees that it's half past midnight but this isn't what makes her freeze and go cold all of a sudden.

'It's the 10th,' she whispers as if she were in a trance.

'Sorry?' Booker asks confused.

'I can't believe I didn't remember,' she says dejectedly, eyes welling just a little. 

'What didn't you remember? Is everything ok?' He sounds concerned and a small part of Nile feels even fuzzier. However, guilt overpowers the fuzziness and everything else along the way.

'Yesterday was my brother's birthday,' she says so quietly that she wonders if Booker's even heard her.

'Oh, sweetheart!' he sighs. He's out of his chair in a flash, kneeling in front of her and grabbing the hand that isn't holding the phone in both his own.

'I forgot,' she says, letting just two tears fall and her voice sounds sad and distant to her own ears, as if she were already a thousand years old. 'How could I forget?' she wonders aloud and when Booker opens his mouth to reply, she immediately cuts him off. 'Please don't say forgetting is normal or healthy or some other bullshit like that because I think I might scream!'

'I wasn't going to say that,' he says quietly, running his thumbs in soothing circles across the back of her hand. 'Although it's true,' he sighs again. Nile just sniffles in response. 'I was going to say that forgetting his birthday or his favourite food or even his smile doesn't mean you love him any less.'

'Have _you_ ever forgotten one of your sons' birthdays? Or your wife's?' she asks sadly. 'And please don't lie just to make me feel better,' she adds.

'I never lie to you, regardless of whether you like what I have to say or not,' he says earnestly and keeps rubbing those tiny circles. 'And yes, I have forgotten a couple of times and I drowned myself in misery and alcohol every single one of them because it seemed like the best idea. I also lashed out at the others and generally acted like an insufferable asshole.'

Booker smiles tiredly and Nile gets a short glimpse of who he used to be, sad and lonely and angry at the world. It lasts just a fraction of a second.

'Nicky cornered me the day after the last time it happened and I don't know how but he coaxed a confession out of me. Pun intended,' he adds and Nile giggles, feeling just a bit better. 'Anyway,' Booker goes on, 'he patiently listened to me whine and rant and everything in between and then he casually suggested I set reminders on my phone.'

'No way,' Nile gasps, half-outraged.

'I know, right?' Booker laughs. 'Insensitive bastard. I got so angry I almost punched him. But he was right. The surest way to remember is to make sure you remember. Does that make any sense?' he smiles lopsidedly.

'Yeah, it does,' Nile smiles and feels the pain and guilt from moments ago slowly ebb away. 'Thank you, Seb!'

'Always, my dear. Now, back to bed, we need to be at the docks at 8 and maybe we can have breakfast at that little place we passed by yesterday?' he says and gets up from the floor. He doesn't let go of her hand and instead uses it to pull her up.

'Sure thing,' Nile grins and they both head for their rooms. 'Night, Seb!'

'Good night, dearest!'

\---

**Kano. June 26th**

She jolts awake, hands shaking and heart beating wildly. She can't even remember the last time she had a nightmare but this one had felt so vivid that she needs to breathe in and out slowly for a full minute before she manages to bring her heart rate back to a normal rhythm.

It's today's mission, Nile thinks as she looks around the room they're all sharing, sleeping on mattresses directly on the floor. This hasn't happened in a while either. Normally she bunks with Andy and Quynh but the job they had today had been consuming for all of them and in all possible ways, involving kids held hostages and explosions and so much blood. She thinks they had all died at least once, so sleeping together in the same room had been a conscious and unanimous decision. Once cleaned up and fed, they had dragged all the mattresses in the largest room, all business and no jokes and they had crashed within seconds.

She's fully awake now and the mattress she had picked is slightly lumpy but she's too tired to get up. Instead, she turns her head towards the window and just listens. It's the middle of the rainy season and outside it's pouring. She loves the rain almost as much as she loves thunderstorms, so she focuses on the soothing sound of raindrops hitting the tin roof and hopes it will lull her back to sleep sooner rather than later.

No more than two minutes must have passed when she hears a gasp to her right and turns her head in time to see Booker move to a sitting position, head between his knees and arms bracketing his temples. He's rocking slowly back and forth and he's so quiet Nile is convinced that if his matress hadn't been next to hers, she wouldn't have even heard him. The rain is doing a good job of providing some background noise too.

She doesn't have time to react in any way before he abruptly gets up and stalks out of the room. Nile hesitates for just two seconds before she gets up as well to follow him.

'Nile?' Nicky whispers and she knows he's seen the entire thing too.

'I've got this,' she assures him and leaves the room without waiting for a reply.

It seems Booker isn't in the house if the main door left ajar is any indication, so she heads outside. He's standing in the middle of the road, head turned upwards and in the streetlight she can see his closed eyes and his chest rising and falling rapidly.

'Seb, are you ok?' she asks while walking towards him and within seconds she's soaked to the skin.

'Seb?' she calls again when she gets no answer and when he opens his eyes and looks at her, she freezes on the spot. There are a million emotions flitting on his face and his eyes look blank and unsettled at the same time. She's never seen him like this and she doesn't really know what to do except say his name again.

'Seb?'

It seems to snap him back from wherever he had been because he launches himself towards her and in three quick steps he crosses the distance between them, grabs her and crushes her in his arms. The weight of the impact makes her stagger and take a step back, but she wraps her arms around him and holds him just as tightly. He buries his face in her neck and Nile can feel him shaking. She doesn't know if it's from the cold or something else but she's starting to get worried.

'Talk to me, Seb, please,' she begs and when he doesn't say anything she tries again. 'Did you have a nightmare?'

Booker just tightens his hold on her and murmurs something that she thinks might be a yes.

'Tell me,' she urges and she doesn't care that they're drenched in the middle of the road, she just wants to never see him like this again.

'You all died,' he almost whimpers against her neck. 'You died and you wouldn't wake up and I was shaking you and begging you to come back, but none of you did and I was terrified that I'd be alone until the end of time and..' he pauses to catch his breath and he's getting more and more frantic. 'And when I woke up none of you were moving and I couldn't even hear you because of this damn rain...'

'So you panicked,' Nile cuts him off. And then she suddenly realises something and pulls back to look him in the eyes. 'You didn't die today, did you?' she asks, though she's fairly sure she knows the answer. 'You're the only one who didn't die today.'

Booker just nods sadly and buries his head in her neck again.

'Sweetie, I'm so sorry. It was just a nightmare, it's not real. And we'll always come back. I'll always come back to you, I promise,' she whispers in his ear and Booker just sighs while she slides one hand up and down his back and strokes his wet hair with the other.

It takes some time before he allows her to disentangle herself from him. When he does, Nile grabs his hand and pulls him towards the house.

'Come on, we'll catch pneumonia out here.'

Once inside they quickly change out of their wet clothes and quietly go back in the sleeping room.

'Nile?' he whispers and she's not used to hearing her name from his lips. It means he's self-conscious about something and she believes she knows what about.

'Wanna share a mattress?' she hazards a guess and his relieved nod tells her she's starting to know him _too_ well.

It's not a mattress for two but they make it work somehow. She lies on her back and he curls on her right side, one arm thrown over her waist and legs tangled with hers.

'Night, Seb!' she whispers.

'Good night, dearest!' he whispers back. 

\---

**Chennai. August 8th**

A well-placed elbow in her ribs makes her grunt in pain and she unceremoniously shoves his arm away. Booker just mutters something unintelligible in his sleep and turns on his left side, promptly resuming his soft snoring. Nile tries to fall back asleep as well but she's too focused on his breathing and he's running so hot that it feels as if she were sleeping in front of a fireplace. For a few moments she lets her mind drift away, imagining how his hot skin would feel pressed against hers. And this is why sharing a bed with him is both the best and worst idea ever.

He's not a restless sleeper and whenever they have shared a room before, she had noticed that he tends to occupy little space, curling in on himself or hugging the pillow. When he's sleeping with her, however, he gets so relaxed that he sploots like a fucking jellyfish, legs spread and one of them often casually intertwined with hers and arms bent in weird positions. Sometimes he forgets she's not a pillow and she finds herself squished to his chest, enveloped by his scent and breath fanning across her neck and cheek. It's pure torture, albeit the sweetest kind and she holds still, savouring it while it lasts. She's like a fucking teenager and it pisses her off to no end.

She needs to clear her mind, so she gets up, rummages through his jacket to find the pack of cigarettes and the lighter and then makes her way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. She doesn't turn on the light because the streetlight outside is more than enough. Instead, she sits at the table, lights a cigarette and gets lost in her head, thoughts swirling almost unpleasantly and all of them centered around him. He's been sending mixed signals as of late, ever since Kano come to think of it and it's doing her head in. Whenever she feels like they're about to meet halfway he takes a few steps back and she'll be damned if she takes _all_ the steps herself because it's just not fair.

She knows she's got herself all worked up when she lights a second cigarette and she's moved on to having imaginary arguments with him. If she weren't so cranky she'd laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all.

'Is this _your_ emo phase?' he hears his voice from behind her and it would be funny in any other circumstances. Not tonight, though, so she just flips him off humourlessly and the idiot just laughs.

'Why aren't you sleeping?' he asks and Nile is quick with a jab.

'Because someone decided to practice their elbow kicks on my ribs,' she huffs annoyedly.

Booker has the decency to at least look sheepish. 'I'm sorry, dearest, I really didn't mean to,' he murmurs and his tone softens her a bit.

'Why aren't _you_ sleeping?' she asks.

'You know I can't sleep without my dream catcher,' he says seriously and Nile just groans and lets her head drop to the table. He's been calling her that since Kano and she absolutely loves it and just like that, all the crankiness melts away. 

'You can't just say stuff like that, Seb,' she whines.

'Why not?' he asks and he sounds genuinely confused.

'I don't know,' she murmurs defeatedly, forehead still on the table. 'Let's go outside,' she suggests after a couple of moments. 

'It's raining, dearest,' he says, way too amused.

Right. She hadn't even noticed the rain pelting against the windows, proof of how lost in thought she had been and how distracting Booker is. They're in the middle of the monsoon season and it's raining heavily from what she can tell, but all she wants is a breath of fresh air.

'I don't care,' she says petulantly and pushes her chair back. 'You coming with me?'

'Always,' he says, getting up and following her outside. 

Nile stops in the middle of the courtyard, closes her eyes and tilts her head towards the sky. It's pouring and she's drenched in a matter of seconds and maybe she's a bit cold too, but she's the most relaxed since she woke up, so she spreads her arms and starts twirling.

'I love rain,' she says and wonders if Booker can hear her.

'I know,' he says from somewhere nearby and it seems he had followed her in the courtyard. She hadn't expected he would.

'I don't know what to do about you,' she sighs and stops twirling but keeps her eyes closed.

'I do,' he says and when she opens her eyes, Booker's right in front of her, hair plastered to his forehead and eyes smouldering.

Nile reaches her hand to push his hair back and he just smiles before leaning forward and pressing his lips against hers for the briefest of moments. When he pulls back and opens his eyes, she's grinning like an idiot. 

'I thought kissing in the rain happens only in movies.'

Booker just chuckles and then he's pulling her flush against him, one hand cradling her head and the other wrapped around her waist. She's gripping his t-shirt and kissing him back a bit desperately and she thinks this is better than any movie she has ever seen. Unlike last time, she doesn't care about pneumonia either. 

Much later, when they're changed in dry clothes and they slip into bed again, Booker lies on his back and she entwines herself around him, head on his chest and right hand holding his left.

'Good night, dearest!' he says, kissing the top of her head. 

'Night, Seb!' she sighs contentedly.

\---

**Reykjavik. September 23rd**

She wakes up to something hitting the floor with a bang, followed by a string of curses in Occitan. It's not that she speaks it, because Booker hasn't started teaching her yet, but she has learnt it's his go-to language whenever he's pissed off.

'Babe?' she calls groggily.

'I'm sorry, sweetheart, I'm really sorry, I dropped my stupid phone. Go back to sleep.'

'Is it time yet?' she asks, rubbing her eyes and sitting up in the middle of the bed.

'No, there's still an hour left. Go back to sleep,' Booker urges but Nile's fully awake now so she won't even bother.

'Why aren't you sleeping?'

'I don't know,' he shrugs.

'Why are you way over there?' she whines and Booker just grins at her.

'First of all, you ask way too many questions for someone who's just woken up,' he states matter-of-factly and Nile crosses her arms and actually pouts. 'And second,' he continues unperturbed, 'I'm literally three meters away.'

He's sitting at the small coffee table in the corner of the room, focusing very hard on something on his laptop.

'I don't care, just come back to bed. What are you even watching?' Nile asks curiously.

'Not watching,' he corrects her, 'double checking.'

'Not the forecast again,' she groans and falls back dramatically on her pillow.

'I made a promise,' he says seriously and Nile just melts because of course he remembers a random thing he said six months ago in the middle of a thunderstorm.

'Seb, if you don't come back to bed this instant, I'll... I'll...'

Before she manages to find something to threaten him with, Booker is pouncing on her, pressing every inch of his body to hers and peppering her face with kisses. Nile giggles like a schoolgirl when he pulls back and declares breathlessly: 'I'm here.'

'Thank you, I really appreciate it,' she says sarcastically but he effectively shuts her up with a searing kiss and the last coherent thought Nile has is that it's a good thing they had set an alarm earlier in the evening when they went to bed.

Two hours later they're in their rented car on a deserted road and Nile is so excited that she's literally bouncing in her seat. 

'Are we there yet?' she asks for the thousandth time and Booker just smiles.

'Almost,' he says and true to his word, no more than five minutes later he pulls over in what looks like a parking lot.

'Where exactly are we?' Nile asks curiously.

'Near lake Hvaleyrarvatn. We're going to have to walk a bit, but it shouldn't be very crowded,' he explains.

So they bundle up and exit the car and take a trail that follows the lake's shore. Booker was right, there are only a few other people who are all talking in hushed tones. They amble around a bit until they find a good spot and then they wait.

Objectively, Nile knows that three things must happen for the Aurora to be visible: the sky needs to be clear, you need to be away from city lights and the Sun needs to have exploded two days prior. It's their last night in Iceland and she's mentally preparing herself for another disappointment, just in case they're unlucky yet again. So far they've had four days of bad weather in a row, followed by two nights when absolutely nothing happened. Next to her Booker is resolutely staring at the sky.

'I swear, sweetheart, if we're unlucky tonight as well, tomorrow I'm calling Andy and telling her we're being delayed!' he huffs grumpily and Nile's heart swells.

'It's ok, babe, we'll get other chances,' she says gently, but Booker turns around to look at her and obstinacy is written all over his face.

'No,' he mutters stubbornly. 'I promised you we'd see it this year and don't you _dare_ tell me we have three more months because we can't really know when we can take another break and-'

'Babe, look!' Nile whispers in awe and Booker turns around towards the lake.

At first it's just a sliver of green, visible only if you squint a little, but five minutes later, the sky is lit up by shades of blue and green and they're reflecting in the lake and Nile is grinning so hard that her cheeks are starting to hurt.

'So beautiful!' she murmurs and she feels her eyes welling up with happy tears.

'Indeed,' he whispers back but when Nile turns to look at him, he's not watching the sky at all, he's watching _her_.

'I love you, Seb!' she smiles softly.

'I love you too, sweetheart!'


End file.
